God Saw Me…when I hid under the covers.

Some of my earliest memories involve hiding under the covers in my bed because my parents were yelling, screaming, throwing things and fighting. I carried that habit into adulthood, but God saw me, and gathered me in His arms (Isaiah 40:11).

God saw me when I was fifteen, my family broken apart and I lay curled up in what was likely a panic attack. But in the wake of my fear and grief, I memorized Psalm 91 and under His wings I took refuge.

God saw me when I began serving Him in high school youth ministry but begged to stay in the background. (In my family, it was safer to be invisible.) He led me to Gideon who resisted God’s call but was willing to obey (Judges 6:15).

God saw me when I shook from head to toe in college speech class. I prayed God would use me another way besides speaking in front of people! In later years, when God began using me in public speaking events, my college friend Brenda said, “I always knew there was potential under that shaking skirt!” I’m thankful for Biblical examples and can relate to Moses who said he couldn’t talk either (Exodus 4:10).

God saw me when I resisted a selling career because I can’t sell. Yet I learned that instead of a “dynamic personality,” God had given me an ability to show my love for others. I learned God uses weak things to shame the mighty (1 Corinthians 1:27).

God saw me when I was a single mom, alone, afraid, and under police protection. I was sure I’d never marry again, but God in His wisdom sent a husband (and father for my children) right to my front door! That was 31 years ago, and I’m glad God sees what I cannot, because today Jon and I serve in ministry together.

God saw me when I needed to fight for the life of our daughter, a Farsi linguist in Baghdad, assaulted in 2003. The courage to take the battle to the Pentagon came from God; He used everything I’d been through to prepare me for that time. He doesn’t waste anything!

God saw me when I was led to full-time ministry but thought I should stay in North America. I was reminded of the old song, “Please Don’t Send Me to Africa.” I was afraid to sing it, for fear God would send me to foreign shores. I’m thankful that when my faith is small, I can trust the Faithful One (Isaiah 41:9).

God saw me in China, leading one of our forty-five mission trips. In Beijing, He gave me the design for a simple Gospel sharing tool. Although I’m not a jewelry designer (nor a leader, speaker or anything outside the covers!), God showed me an old idea with a beautiful twist, and now many thousands have heard the Good News of the Gospel. It’s not talent, just obedience!

God’s ways are not our ways, He sees every one of us, and His strength will be made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

If you’re a little like me, and you need assurance that God truly sees you, this beautiful oratorio conveys the message better than I can. I hope you will listen: The God Who Sees

By Peggy Sperling

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